Why New Year Resolutions Fail

I love resolutions. Do I always accomplish them? Nope. But I like making them anyway and love when I do accomplish them! 

A resolution is defined as a firm decision to do or not do something. Really, it’s making a promise to yourself. But what makes so many resolutions fail? Why can’t you seem to keep those promises to yourself?

I believe there are 5 reasons:

1. No plan. All too often, New Year’s resolutions are more like New Year’s suggestions. A resolution shouldn’t be some end goal. It should be the promise to yourself to do all the steps to get yourself to that end goal. 
2. No heart. Your resolution is yours. You don’t have to have the same resolution that your friends have, or something you saw in some magazine. If you choose someone else’s goal, it’ll be very difficult to reach, then you will just beat yourself up. Choose a goal that feels right for you. That way you will be able to put your heart into it and it will be so much more satisfying to accomplish.
3. Not realistic. I think that your potential for growth is unlimited. So what do I mean by an unrealistic resolution? Making a resolution for someone else is unrealistic. “I want my kids to do better in school.” “I want my spouse to be a better communicator.” Those are unrealistic because they are outside your control. Switch instead to resolutions that you can play a part in. “I will spend more time helping my children with their school work.” “I will have more meaningful conversations with my spouse.”
4. No commitment. Your New Year’s resolution counts on you. It is not like a letter to Santa, where you put in a request and it just shows up. If you want it, you gotta do it. That’s why it’s a promise to yourself. Stand behind your resolution because no one wants it for yourself more than you do.
5. Self centred. If you are the only one you are doing this for, it might not be enough to keep you going. Identify someone else, a child, a loved one, or a cause that you will do this for. Extending the benefits beyond yourself will help you keep your promise.

Now get comfy and pick up a pen and paper. Seriously. Do it. If you can’t pull up a chair, how will you pull up your socks? If you can’t pick up a pen, how can you pick up the pieces? If you can’t find some paper, how will you find your way?

Answer the following questions. Write down your responses. There are no wrong answers.

- How can I be a better version of myself this year?

- What do I really want this year? 

- What one new habit will help me get there?

- What are 3 skills that I need to develop to move along the way?

- What one thing do I have to stop doing to make it happen?

- Who else will benefit from this?

The rest is up to you. Is this year going to be just another year? Or is this going to be your best year? Let’s make it happen!

Here’s to Conquering Stress, 
The Stress Experts

P.S. This year, promise yourself to be a better version of yourself. Don’t make this year just like all the years before. Make it better. Make yourself better. If you need a hand, or a shoulder, or a kick in the rear, check out our Stress Expert Coaching Program. You’ll love it.