I am in Gold Coast, Australia as I write this. I came here for a 3-day EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)/Tapping course and I am staying for about 3 weeks. The scenery is so much different than Manitoba, Canada!
When I arrived, I got an Uber from the airport to my AirBnB. After I got over the shock of seeing the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car and everyone driving on the wrong side of the road, I started talking with the driver. He was a super friendly guy. Turns out, he also has experience driving in Canada and USA. He started giving me some tips about being in Australia, right on the border of Queensland and New South Wales.
I told him I was thinking of renting a car after my course was finished so I could tour around. He thought that was a great idea. He then proceeded to give me pointers about driving: keep to the left, no turning on a red, wear your seatbelt otherwise the fine is hefty, take your time and in about an hour you’ll be more comfortable with the opposite side of things. He also said that the drivers here are very friendly, patient, and they watch out for each other. He said, “Road rage is not a thing, here.”
I was grateful to hear this. I could just see myself driving half the speed limit and maybe people would understand.
The next day, I got another Uber from my AirBnB to the venue of the course, about a 10-minute drive. This driver was also friendly. He asked me about what I do in Canada. I explained that I help people manage stress. He said, “Oh! We definitely need that here! The drivers have some really bad road rage!”
Which Uber driver was speaking the truth? Are the drivers in that part of Australia patient and courteous, or are they full of rage?
Both! It depends what the driver believes to be true.
See, there is a part in your brain called the reticular activating system. It is responsible for directing your attention.
You may not know it, but your subconscious (below conscious awareness) mind is processing about 11 million bits of information a second. The reticular activating system is filtering that crazy amount of information, “deciding” what bits of information are important to pay attention to, what is most important to you. This important stuff gets brought to the level of your awareness. This deciding is based on what you believe.
Beliefs are different than thoughts. Thoughts are fleeting and change with the context; beliefs are convictions and persistent. They are like your “conclusions” and “rules” about things.
You probably won’t “hear” beliefs in your head like you do your thoughts.
If, near the beginning of his driving career, the first Uber driver saw a couple drivers being nice to another driver, his mind would have made the conclusion (the belief) that drivers are polite. With that belief as the filter in the reticular activating system, he is more likely to be aware of future occasions of courteous driving and not be “aware” of rageful drivers, even if his subconscious mind actually registered these aggressive behaviours. This lack of conscious awareness of this information further reinforces his belief that drivers here are polite. (This is also known as the confirmation bias.)
If, near the beginning of his driving career, the second Uber driver saw a couple aggressive, rude drivers, his mind would have made the conclusion (the belief) that road rage was a problem here. With that belief as the filter, he is more likely to be aware of future occasions of aggressive, impatient driving and not be “aware” of kind acts from drivers, even if his subconscious mind actually registered these polite behaviours. This lack of conscious awareness of this information further reinforces his belief that drivers here struggle with road rage.
Believing is seeing - we only “see” what we pay attention to and typically we only pay attention to what we already believe.
If you believe your spouse never helps out around the house, you won’t be aware of the times he actually does.
If you believe no one likes you, you won’t see the times people reach out to connect with you…because they actually do.
If you believe you fail at everything, you won’t see the times you succeed…because actually you do.
If you believe the world is going to hell in a hand basket, you won’t notice the goodness in the world…because actually there is.
This is really good news! It means that if you want less stress and more positivity and ease, you don’t have to change the world, you only have to change your beliefs about the world, about you, about others, about drivers, about life…and everything will change.
How do you change your beliefs?
Changing your beliefs by yourself requires constant conscious effort to shift your attention to the opposite of your belief. This takes a lot of effort, persistence, commitment, and time.
There is an easier, faster way! One of the reasons EFT is gaining popularity so quickly, is its ability to bust beliefs quickly - even in one session! EFT helps you rewire your brain for positivity, happiness, ease, and abundance.
Try it for yourself! Use this link to book your FREE 30-minute discovery call with me.
And I’ll see you when I get back from Australia!!
Here’s to conquering stress.
With heart,
Louise
The Stress Experts
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