For many people, a new year means new year’s resolutions. But if you’re anything like me, that resolution lasts about one month…maybe, if I’m lucky.
Why is that? Is it because I lack willpower? Maybe.
But a very likely reason for not reaching my goal is that I haven’t connected to my core motivation - the deeper reasons for making the resolution or goal - in the first place.
A lot of times, when the goal has a superficial motivation, we, as people, tend to fail accomplishing the goal because the goal lacks deeper meaning to us.
For example, a common goal for a new year is to lose weight. “I want to lose 15 pounds.” While there is nothing wrong with this goal, it has a high probability of not being achieved if it is not founded on a deeper “why”.
One way to increase the likelihood of accomplishing your new year’s resolutions is to take some time to uncover the deeper “why” of your goal, the deeper reason you want it, the bigger purpose of it. You can find the deeper motivation by simply asking “why” 4-6 times in succession until you come to a deeper “Ah-ha”.
For example,
“I want to lose 15 pounds this year.”
Why do you want to lose 15 pounds?
“Because I am 15 pounds overweight.”
Why does that matter?
“Because it isn’t good for me to be overweight.”
Why do you care if you are overweight?
“Because being overweight is not conducive to living a healthy life.”
Why do you want to live a healthy life?
“Because I want to enjoy living a long, energy-filled life.”
Now, as you can see, the goal of losing 15 pounds is not just about looking better in the mirror. It’s about living a long, energy-filled life! This is a lot more meaningful.
Another example,
“I want to cook something new each week.”
Why?
“I get stuck cooking the same old stuff.”
Why does that matter?
“Because I think I am boring and stuck in a rut.”
Why does that matter?
“Because I don’t want that; I want to try new things.”
Why does that matter?
“Because I am not very good with “new things”.
Why does that matter?
“Because life is always bringing me “new things” and I think I need practice with that.”
When you are aware of the meaningful motivation behind your goals, the drive to achieve the goal naturally increases. You won’t have to rely on willpower alone because you will have tapped into a wealth of meaning…and meaning is a powerful driver.
Be honest, curious, and compassionate when you try out the “5 whys” on your new year’s resolution or on your personal or professional goals and let me know what you discover.
Here’s to conquering stress.
With heart,
Louise
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