Do you ever notice yourself reacting to a small stressor as if it was a big deal?
For example, your boss walks by and you feel your chest tighten. You see an email from “that person” and your stomach drops. You set your boundaries by saying no, but you feel vomit-y.
In your brain, you know that you “shouldn’t” react that way - you’ve told yourself to stop, but you can’t. Your reaction may seem unreasonable, illogical, stupid, or childish but it keeps happening.
Why does it keep happening? Really, it’s just your boss walking by. It’s just an email. It’s just saying no. Why does your body feel like this?
I want you to know, there is nothing wrong with you. Actually, there’s something very right with you - your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Without you knowing, your nervous system (integrated with your body) is scanning your environment, relationships, and your internal signals, looking for any hint of a threat. It is deciding if you are safe or unsafe. It makes this decision 4 times a second!
When your nervous system senses a threat - real or perceived - your body responds automatically…before you even know what’s happening. It is not a conscious decision.
Somewhere along the way, your nervous system/body learned that your boss is a “threat”, the email from that person isn’t “safe”, and saying “no” might go badly.
Now, maybe your boss acts like an a$$ and it makes sense that you perceive him as a threat - you just saw him take a strip off Billy yesterday. But what if your boss is nice and he hasn’t done anything that could be perceived as a “threat”?
This is where, in my opinion, things get really interesting. See, the body remembers patterns and these patterns don’t always operate on “logic”.
For example, let’s say your 5th grade teacher would yell and make you feel scared and worthless. This teacher had a beard. Your nice boss also has a beard. Seeing your boss’s beard today can trigger the same feelings you had in grade five, hence, the chest tightening.
This is what I mean when I said the nervous system scans the environment looking for threats. Your body/nervous system sees your boss’s beard and makes the decision based on prior experience: beard = unsafe…and it automatically responds. Even if the reaction doesn’t make logical sense.
“So, now that I know that’s why my body is reacting that way when my boss walks by, will it stop doing it?”
No, it won’t!
“Does that mean I am stuck feeling this way every time my boss walks by?
No, it doesn’t!
We just have to give the body the message that a beard = safe. And that message can’t come from just thinking it. The body has to be involved.
Safety has to be felt, not just thought about.
That’s where EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) comes in. It’s a gentle technique in which we tap on acupressure points while focusing on the “issue” or the stress. The tapping sends signals of safety to the body.
Safety is felt. The body relaxes. The nervous system patterns rewire. You stop reacting.
It’s simple. Fast. And has lasting results.
You don’t have to understand it. You don’t have to believe in it. You don’t even have to know why you’re stressed!
If you want to explore how EFT can help you stop reacting and get unstuck, I offer a free 30-minute discovery call (virtual or in person). It is a gentle, no pressure conversation about where you’re at, what you’d like to see changed, and if EFT could help. Book it, here.
Here’s to calming stress at the source.
With heart,
Louise
The Stress Experts
--
Did this blog help you?
Consider sharing it with someone who needs to hear it!
Have a question?
Let me know. I love answering questions! Contact me!
0 Comments