Updates from The Stress Experts

What Does It Mean to Express Emotion?

Wed, 23 Sep 2026 21:38:00 CDT

“Get it out.”

“Let it out.”

“Release it.”

But what exactly is the “it” we are talking about?

I started thinking about this because of the word express.

It actually has more than one meaning...

The Feeling About the Feeling

Tue, 08 Sep 2026 17:49:08 CDT

It can be uncomfortable and even painful to feel some emotions.

Grief can feel like a hole is being ripped through your heart.

Anger can feel like your blood is boiling in your veins.

Shame can feel like you can’t get small enough.

So it makes sense why we don’t actually want to experience unpleasant emotions - they’re unpleasant!

On top of the fact that they are uncomfortable, we often have unconscious beliefs about emotions that keep us from allowing ourselves to feel them. For example...

You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Feel

Wed, 26 Aug 2026 22:32:00 CDT

There is a piece of advice that has been around for a very long time — be grateful.

Seemingly simple. Seemingly easy. Seemingly harmless.

And yet I am noticing a common pattern in my clients where “being grateful” isn’t always as harmless as it seems.

Don’t get me wrong! I know that a practice of gratitude has amazing benefits. Carol Look explores many of these benefits in her book Yes, Thank You, drawing on research showing associations between gratitude and things like well-being, happiness and stress.

So I’m not arguing against gratitude.

The problem I’m seeing isn’t gratitude itself. The problem is...

What If You're Afraid To Be Clear?

Wed, 12 Aug 2026 20:54:00 CDT

I’ve been struggling with getting clear and making decisions.

Whether it is a decision I have to make for my business or just deciding what to have for lunch, I dance back and forth and say, “I don’t know.”

Then I add more and more pressure to myself:

“Just choose already!! Do SOMETHING!”

But the more pressure I add, the more “I don’t know” I get—and the more frustrated I get with myself.

I used to think it was because I’m just not good at making decisions. It’s just who I am. And honestly, that has been a source of shame.

Then I started thinking...

"So What Should I Be Telling Myself?"

Wed, 22 Jul 2026 11:54:41 CDT

There’s something that many of my clients don’t understand before coming to see me.

They often believe that if they could just change their thinking, they would finally feel the way they want to feel. More confident. More calm. More motivated. More at peace.

While our thoughts certainly matter, what many people don't realize is that these internal experiences aren't created by thinking alone. They're deeply influenced by what's happening in the body—particularly the nervous system.

One of the questions I hear often is, "So what should I be telling myself?" It's a great question—but it's often the wrong place to start. Before our thoughts can change our experience, our nervous system often needs to feel safe enough to receive them.

Why does this matter?